Filed under: sarah's thoughts
Old Faithful
We watched Old Faithful erupt 3 times. It is a cone geyser that erupts every 90 minutes usually. We learned more about geysers and geyser watching clubs than I could have dreamed. I would say I got into it. I have loved learning the jargon of new things. Primarily, my new jargon exposure has been affiliated with the sport of rock climbing, but in Yellowstone, it was a whole new jargon…the language of the geyser predictor.
My favorite observation about people and their hobbies or sports is how they talk to each other. It is human nature I know, but they all try to throw out their vocabulary words and their experiences to one another. I guess sometimes it is harmless reminiscing, but other times it really seems like a competition. Who has seen more or done more? Who has climbed harder routes? I guess I have been wondering if I have a thing like that in my life. I am just not sure. I remember feeling like I was part of a jargon club when I was in TFA (Teach for America) when we went to LTs (learning teams) or to PTP (Practitioner Teacher Program). I remember sometimes that I thought I might suffocate in all of the talk. I felt that way at Agnes Scott too. I guess there are times when you just need to talk about something else, you know? The contrast between my schooling or former job and the hobbyists is that the geyser predictors and climbers usually aren’t talking in complaint. Instead, they are extremely passionate about an activity, and they use special words to talk about these extracurricular activities with one another.
I do not think I have any activity like that in my life currently. I have been so focused on relationships, on survival, on thank you notes, on moving, etc. There is not a jargon for these things. They are simply life experiences, but I have begun to understand that we don’t allow ourselves to be fully present in them. We move on to the next thing. We keep going. We have to get things done. We have to have cool jargon-y things to talk about. Well, right now, I don’t have anything to hide behind. I have to tell people every day that I am unemployed and homeless. Their curiosity peaks wildly of course, and I am exposed. It is uncomfortable, but I am not pretending anything. I cannot pretend. You can smell me whenever we’ve been camping for a few days (haha). There are two ways I can look at it though. I can be embarrassed and ashamed that I am now 26 and do not know what I want to do with my life, or I can feel really really thankful that I am able to take a few months of my life not to work and to see the country as a newly wed. I have always wanted to please people and make them proud of me, but I chose to quit my job and to come on this trip. I have to be present in this, and I cannot worry about tomorrow or what anyone thinks. Hard. But in the mean time, I’m learning everyone else’s jargon. Maybe just maybe, someday I’ll have one of my own.
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I am loving reading all of your thoughts and stories from the road. I think you are extremely brave to have set off on this journey and that it is entirely precious that you and Todd are on it together. What a wonderful way to begin a marriage! And while there are days where you may feel the weight of being “unemployed and homeless”, you must remind yourself that this is by choice. I am so proud of you for following your heart and filling yourself with experiences and memories that will in the end, make you uniquely qualified to work with people from widely diverse backgrounds. I can’t wait to see you and Scott when you return to Seattle!
Comment by Gillian Monday, August 25, 2008 @ 1:42 pm